"The acme of judicial distinction means the ability to look a lawyer straight in the eyes for two hours and not hear a damn word he says."

--CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN MARSHALL

"The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence."

--H.L. MENCKEN

"Your Honor, could the defendant possibly go down that chimney? Could he possibly supply all good children from the bag marked Exhibit B? I accuse the venerable gentleman of being partial. I have here witnesses whom he never visits."

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."

--SAMUEL GOLDWYN

"A jury verdict is a quotient of the prejudices of twelve people."

--KENNETH P. GRUBB, American jurist

"A jury consists of 12 persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."

--ROBERT FROST

A witness once said to a judge

"You may believe me or not, but I have stated not a word that is false, for I have been wedded to truth from infancy."

"Yes, sir," said the judge, "but the question is how long have you been a widower?"